Tag - Strong relationships

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RESPECT You Can See, Hear, Feel...even Taste!

An upsetting situation is coming to the fore in my son’s class.  Bullying.  Among girls.  They’re not breaking bones with sticks and stones; they’re hurting with words.

How did it start?  I’m not sure (and is anyone?)

When did it begin?  Some time back...but it’s irrelevant now.  Today, bullying is here.

Who does it?  In this bullying instance, I know all of the concerned people:  parents and kids.  Our children have been in the same class for six years.  We know these families.  They're all delightful people.  Every one of them.  

Without a doubt the parents of the kids involved hope to pass on the value of mutual respect to their children.  And yet, a connection between beliefs and actions is not being made.

Passing on our values to the next generation is one of parents’ deep desires and formidable feats.  So much easier said than done!  I don’t have a foolproof method for passing on our principles to our children.

I do have some hard-learned lessons on communication with people from a different culture (I’m an American living in France) who speak another mother tongue.  After all, our children do live in a confusing generational culture and talk differently, “u no wat i mean?”

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Communicate to be Understood

Why do you and I communicate? 

Sometimes I wonder if it’s to hear myself!  How wonderful I am (wink)...how smart I am (nod)...and definitely how right I am (roar with laughter)!

There are also times when I truly desire to get a message across to another person and communication breaks down.  Kaput.  I might understand if I were only giving negative feedback, yet this also happens with a positive or neutral missive.

FRUSTRATION.

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Boosting Family Love: It Worked for Us!

We had a LOVERLY (!) time at the Boost Love Family Workshop last week-end. I just loooove this picture of BEAMING kids when they are so confident of being loved and of having their love received.

Here’s our vision.  Great leaders make great parents.  At work, we frame a vision, communicate it, and organize to make it happen.  Isn’t that what we do at home too?

We got inspired by business growth (new customers, new products & services, greater value of each) to boost love through building up our relationships, the frequency of our interactions, and the depth of our communication.

I just love your workshops! You are so engaging and motivating and inspiring! (Thank you.  I do thrive on affirmation.  Smile.  Well, GRIN!)  I guess what helps the most is the practical way you put things into perspective for us.  Things we never necessarily think about in a structured way - but should!!!...I'm looking forward to the next one!!!”

Read on and check out the pictures.

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Boost Love - Parent & Child Workshop in Paris

For every “NO!” how often do you encourage?

So much of our family conversation seems tainted by critique or correction.  Maybe it's because so much of our discussion centers around giving instructions. 

Do these sound familiar?

Dad: "How is homework coming along?  Did you do it WELL?"

or

Mom: "For how long did you brush your teeth?"

Kid:  "Why do you ask me again and again?"

Mom:  "Didn't you know a mom is a spy?!  Besides, too often I find your toothbrush dry!"

Great homes share exchanges like these.  They also include more...


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Family Annual Review Peek-a-boo—To Mom, be more generous. To child, learn through a job.

We are coming to a close of our Family Annual Review of 2013.  One son remains to give and receive his feedback with his parents.  This is the fourth in the series of posts to give you a glimpse into one our most precious and powerful family moments. 

Click here for our How To’s.  Read on to learn how my son told me to be more generous and I encouraged him to grow by working simple jobs of manual labor or service.

We are seated at the dinner table and the boys chose to go around in the order of seating.  It’s our second son who finally got the floor.

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Family Annual Review Peek-a-boo—To Mom, stop being a fashion victim. To child, think before you speak

Two of our sons have already given (to parent) and received (from Mom) feedback about what each does well and should continue doing, and about one behavior to consider changing.  (Catch the beginning of the discussion here). 

Business Continues As Usual

We’re at the dinner table, getting close to dessert time, and it’s the turn of youngest of four sons.   The meal keeps on flowing throughout the exchange.

Mom:  “Darling, what would you like to tell me about what I do well and what I should think about changing?”

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Family Annual Review Peek-a-boo—To Mom, be flexible. To child, go forward step by step

We're on a roll with the Family Annual Review.  Our eldest son has given and received his feedback (read here) for the Family Annual Review.  We’re sitting around the dinner table and Son 3 is next to him. 

Perfecting Process

(In a teensy bit of a controlling style) I turn to our second eldest son.

Mom:  “What is your feedback for me?” 

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Family Annual Review Peek-a-boo—To Mom, be clear. To child, be humble.

“A TABLE!”  That’s French for “Time to eat. Kids, come NOW! Prepare your taste buds and your conversation skills...”

On December 31 the family was dispersed in six different parties.  On January 1, we all sat down for a meal together...and shared feedback on 2013 and insights for growing forward.  We call this The Family Annual Review.

We do this every year and it is AN AMAZING family moment that the children request year after year.  Read here for the "How To's."

Friends (who also are parents) exclaim, "What a great idea....but I'd be so scared."  We're giving you The Run Down so that you can get a feel for how it happens...and do it chez you too! 

Since we have four sons, we've given each one a full post.  Keep clicking to the next post!  Each child is different (don't you KNOW!) so you catch a different aspect of the exchange from each one. 

Executive Summary

In essence, our eldest son asked me to be more clear about finances and who pays what.  My growth challenge to him centers on learning through humility.

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“I See You”—My Precious—Advent Calendar

In the hugely successful movie, Avatar, the creatures greet each other with, “I see you.”  They might not always share the look of love, but love is spelled L.O.O.K. 

Kids crave it.  “Watch me, Mom!” “Daddy, look at me!”  To notice what someone else does, to listen to them (it means being quiet oneself), and to appreciate their moods shouts, “I love you.”

The “I See You”—My Precious—Advent Calendar gives parents just the opportunity to show the children that they are paying attention.

Download directly or read on.

 

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